Why would God allow something so bad to happen to me?


First things first, I want to make sure YOU ARE NOT BLAMING YOURSELF! Just in case you are, let me tell you this:

“God is not punishing you! This is not penance or payback for your past sins. I can guarantee it. How? you ask. I can guarantee it because God paid the cost for all of our sins on the cross. That’s what Grace and forgiveness is.”

Why would God allow something so horrible to happen to me?

This is a hard question that many people avoid answering and asking. However, it is a pervasive question that must be addressed head on. For years, it was something I struggled with as well. It was something that I didn’t know how to answer when someone asked me or when I asked for myself. It was a question that always broke my heart and left me feeling hopeless. For a long time, I was afraid to ask God for the answer. There were too many emotions attached to it. How are we supposed to feel secure if God doesn’t stop bad things from happening to us? What’s the benefit of being Christian if we are not exempt from pain either? Furthermore, how are we ever supposed to fully feel secure in life and live fearlessly if there is nothing we can do to avoid pain? How can we be expected to feel confident, safe, and live freely, always knowing in the back of our minds that bad things may happen to us or the ones we love, and there is nothing we can do about it? Well, I prayed to God and I believe I have an answer for you. Stick with me and keep reading.

The Wrong, Damaging Answers to this Question

If you are like me and grew up in the church or grew up hearing spiritual advice of how to protect yourself and your family, you may have heard the message of Faith preached in the most damaging way possible. I was taught to use faith to get whatever I wanted. I was taught that I could control my life and what happened to me by having faith. If I didn’t want to lose a loved one, all I had to do was have faith and they would not die. If I didn’t want bad things to happen to me or my loved ones, all I had to do was pray and believe and it wouldn’t. Well, I watched good, faithful, pure hearted Christians pray and fast for people not to die, but, they still died. I’ve watched faithful, truly dedicated to God people suffer horrible things, and the horrible loss of loved ones. Through it all, the MOST DAMAGING ANSWER TO WHY, was, “because they didn’t have enough faith”, or “because they did something wrong”, or “because they weren’t faithful enough in going to church”, or the worse, most manipulating of them all is, “because they didn’t tithe. “All of these WRONG ANSWERS were infuriating. Not only were they infuriating, they were also heartbreaking as I watched people believe these lies and blame themselves for the tragedies they experienced. I knew these answers were lies, but, I also didn’t know the answer.

Facing the Feeling of Feeling Vulnerable With No Refuge

When I was younger, I truly believed that if I believed and lived a good Christian life, I would avoid tragedy. That misplaced confidence was violently ripped away from me as I experienced life and watched others around me experience life. I’ll never forget the feeling. It was equivalent to walking outside amongst gun fire, totally confident because you believed  you were wearing head to toe bullet proof armor, only to find out, once you were in the middle of crossfire that it was a lie, and you were in the middle of a shoot out with no protection at all. At that moment, I buckled, and cried out to God for answers. An amazing thing happened. He spoke to my heart and answered. Even though it wasn’t what I would have preferred to hear, it was the Truth. The Truth gave me a peace. I was able to let go. Not under false pretense as before, but I was able to find peace because I knew the answer was the Truth. I felt my fear of pain and loss release itself. I felt myself surrender to the process. I felt true healing and a sense of security flood my heart and soul. However, I wasn’t secure because it was revealed to me that I would never suffer, or that my loved ones would never suffer. I was secure because the answer assured me that no matter what, I would be ok.

I wasn’t secure because it was revealed to me that I would never suffer, or that my loved ones would never suffer. I was secure because the answer assured me that no matter what, I would be ok.


So, I know you are anxious to know, what is the answer to this question. Well, I prayed, and this is the answer I got:

*Part I of the Answer*

**** Part I Of The Answer – FREE WILL******

Good and bad people have free will. Some people use their free will to harm others. Some people use their free will to do good. If you are a victim of someone’s ill free will, I pray for your healing, and my heart is truly full of compassion for you. God does not control us and puppet us, whether we are good or bad. Unfortunately, some of us suffer at the hands of the ill free will of others. It’s not because God doesn’t love you. It’s not because you are unworthy. It’s not because you did anything wrong. In these cases, it is simply because someone chose to do something horrible. Do not blame yourself or God. The truth is, God is not the cause of the pain. However, he is the SOLUTION to the pain. God is the healing.

***** Part II Of The Answer- An Imperfect World *******

Although this world is imperfect, SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!  Those who accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior will live an eternal life free from pain loss and suffering.  The path is simple. Understand who God is, and confess who he is. Confess as in, confess the truth. Speak the truth knowing it is the Truth.  Believe in your heart that Jesus is who HE says he is, He is Lord. And you shall inherit eternal life, when it’s your time. NEVER attempt to take your life pre-maturely.

What About Feeling Good And Healed Now?!?

What if I told you, there was something you could do, to take away the pain that you feel? What if I told you, that there was something that would take away the heaviness in your heart, the aching in your stomach, and the hopeless feeling of despair? Well, there is a cure for your pain. IT IS POSSIBLE to feel happy, totally normal, and healed and at peace, even if you have been through the worse tragedy imaginable. If you listen to THE ANSWER, and follow these instructions, your level of peace will surpass all understanding. It will defy everything that is considered normal. Everyone around you will be confused, because it will make no sense that you are as peaceful and as happy as you are considering what you’ve been through.

4 Steps To Feeling Good Now

1.) Surrender and let it ALL out

Find a quiet place by yourself, and tell God exactly how you feel. Don’t be afraid of questioning God or being disrespectful. If you feel hurt, tell God you feel hurt. If you feel like God let you  down, tell him you feel like he let you down. If you feel like you can’t trust him to protect you, tell him. Tell Him everything. Why? because being transparent and crying out to God whole heartedly and honestly is the FIRST, and MANDATORY step to healing. It is not emotionally healthy for you to bottle things up. It’s not good for your heart and soul, for you to feel as if you can’t truly say what you feel. It will eat you alive and keep you in a downward spiral of depression and despair. This is the process I went through. It literally felt as if a weight was lifted off of my chest and heart. It was in that moment, that my spirit lifted and God spoke to me. It felt as if he was just waiting for me to be honest and ask.

2.) Ask and you shall receive

Once you complete step number 1, you will find yourself in an intimate, close place with God, You will feel him. You will have done a powerful thing. You will have opened up an open, clear line of communication between you and him. Ask  Jesus to heal your broken heart. Ask Jesus to place in your mind and heart, the answer to how YOU are supposed to process this for YOUR life and unique relationship with him. Say this prayer:

“Lord, I am calling out to you because I feel broken, hurt, left alone, and vulnerable. Lord, I want to trust you and live a life of peace and happiness and love, but, considering what I’ve been through, it’s hard for me to enter into this place. Lord, please shower me with your answers. Lord please speak to my heart and heal it and soothe it. Lord, please repair everything in me that is broken and hurt. Lord Jesus, I pray with my whole heart, that you fill me with a peace and joy that surpasses all understanding. Lord, Jesus, I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth that you are Lord, and because you are Lord of all, I know that fixing my broken heart is not too hard for you. I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth that you are healing, and that you love me enough to heal me totally. Lord Jesus, please come into my heart, touch my heart and my soul, extract all the pain, strengthen me and make me whole. Make me to be a beaconing light to all others who are broken, so that they may see and run to the power of your healing.


3.) Believe and Let Go

Once you say this prayer, believe that God is faithful to heal you. Let go of the pain. Let go of blaming yourself. Let go of trying to control what you cannot. Let go of feeling as if you need to control what you cannot. Believe that no matter what happens, there is a healing that is greater, and let go of the fear of being hurt. If you can escape the source of your hurt, escape it. Leave the person, the home, or whatever you need to do. If you need help escaping, reach out to someone who loves you. If you need immediate help and feel there is no one to reach out to, reach out to these places to start:

Help with Grief


Escape Abuse



1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224

4.) Get Closer and Closer

Pray candid, honest prayers daily and throughout the day. Read your Bible every chance you get and pray to God to be your teacher. Pray to God to spiritually reveal to you the meaning he wants you to take away from His Word. Move as far away as possible from everything negative (music, tv, news, people, etc.), and move as closely as possible to everything that speaks, sings, and reinforces life and the Word of God. Healing comes in doses just like any other medicine. Except with God and Truth, there is no overdose. The more of it you consume, the stronger, happier, and more at peace you will become.

The True, Right Meaning and Application of Faith- The Shift

An amazing thing happens once you truly have faith and understanding in God’s healing and faithfulness to resurrect you, to restore you. Instead of praying to control everything so that you don’t get hurt, you instead pray to get close enough to God so that you are healed and restored from any hurt you may endure. I don’t pretend to understand the greater reason we suffer. I think it does all of us a disservice and causes more pain to try to answer for God in terms of what the Big Plan is. However, I do know that there is healing, peace, and joy on the other side of everything we may experience here on earth. No one can offer a magic solution to avoid all pain and suffering. But, Jesus does offer healing and total recovery from it all. I pray that you follow the steps above so that you may be healed and experience a peace and joy that makes absolutely no logical sense.

May you be at peace and full of joy anyway,




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